Recalling the horror of bombs

"We have heard that a half a million children have died [because of sanctions against Iraq]. I mean that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And - you know, is the price worth it?" The US secretary of state, Madeleine Albright, was asked this, and she answered: "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price - we think the price is worth it."

My name is Nofa Khadduri, I am 15 years old. I was born and raised in Baghdad, Iraq. I lived there with my family for the first 12 years of my life, and then I moved to Canada, where I have been living happily for almost four years.

In the 12 years that I spent in Iraq, I felt and witnessed things that I hope people will never have to go through.

Those words were very disturbing to me; about a thousand thoughts ran through my mind at the same second; I wasn't quite sure what they meant. Next thing I knew I was staying at a previously bombed area to stay safe, with no electricity, no food but soup and bread, no relatives, no friends and no connection to the outside world. It was just my family and I, with the little hope that filled every Iraqi's heart to survive this war. Unfortunately, many didn't.

As the war ended, Baghdad was full of noise, noise that was unbearable. The loud screaming of pain, and grief that filled every Iraqi's heart - men, women and children - for the men that survived the battle and lost their families, for the women that kissed their husbands and sons goodbye and would never see them again, for the children that were now hungry with no place to live. Everyone was hurt, I saw it, and I felt it. I shared the pain of my neighbours, who lost their father in the battle. My street was once a paradise full of happiness - until that day.

You would think that, by moving to Canada and growing up, I would move on with my life. But I can't. It hurts to move on because other people are still living that nightmare. I still have friends in Iraq, and I miss them very much. I never had a chance to say goodbye to them when I was leaving, and I will never have a chance to say goodbye if they die during this potential war. Even the people in Iraq that I don't know, I still consider my family. Those people were very simple, friendly and respectful; they taught me how to be all those things, and for that I'm thankful. I just can't find an answer for why there is so much hatred against them? Aren't they humans? Don't they deserve to live? We might be different with the language we speak, we might be different with the traditions we have, but all that isn't enough to say that we aren't worthy of living. I mean, I am Iraqi, and if I cut myself, I bleed the colour red. And I know for a fact that every single one of you does too. Touch your heart. Is it beating? So is mine. Are you surprised?

I just hope that the United States will realize the pain they have put Iraqis through for no other reason but their economic purposes. What amazes me the most is that they estimated 50,000 men, women and children will die but they simply referred to them as collateral damage. That breaks my heart, shatters it into many pieces, which may take a life time to put back together. I strongly believe that, if we just open up our hearts and look beyond money and power, we can achieve so much more than tears. We can achieve peace.

Would it hurt them to try?(**)

The war against Iraq has now been raging for nearly a year. The American government can claim all it wants is for the war to end. The truth is: it is not. It is not over until the Iraqi people receive what they deserve. It is not over until Americans realize and understand that they will not be able to control us, to take away our culture, to step foot in our land and expect us to bow to them because of their guns and money. Therefore, this war is bound to continue for longer than my eyes will live to see. That reality hurts.

It hurts even more now that the children in Iraq, who have not had a chance to experience what it really means to have a dream, are already experiencing how it feels to hold a gun and point it at someone. They do this because their minds have been altered to develop a sense of resistance against their "liberators", who were ambiguously welcomed at first, yet stayed an excessively long time, until the point was reached that it became apparent they were not liberators any more, but occupiers.

Our culture has been around for too long to be stomped on by people who have no appreciation of their own heritage, having only relatively recently migrated. I want to make it clear that not all Americans are like this; many are very educated, intellectual and have a great love for their heritage. However, it is not amusing to me as a Christian that some Americans who are in Iraq fighting for our democracy have the indecency to take the Qur'an out of a woman's purse in public and throw it on the floor, simply because they feel it opposes their mission to bring democracy from their land to ours. They feel the need to improvise our Iraqi culture, which not only has been around for more than 6000 years, but is also deeply rooted in the hearts of the Iraqi people. This also makes it irreplaceable for them.

I cannot comprehend how the American government plans to gain the trust of the Iraqi people by having let the artefacts that shaped our culture for many years be "transported" from our homeland to some place else because the US government did not care for protecting them or considers them "safer" somewhere else. It is so insensitive not to comprehend that it is morally wrong for male soldiers to touch a woman on the street, just to check for weapons.

Though it is a long road to gain the trust of the Iraqi people, it is not a very difficult process. Here is a suggestion that the American government might consider: the government is sending pop stars to perform concerts for American soldiers in Iraq so the soldiers do not feel very isolated from their home country. Would it hurt to save the cost of the travel and accommodation of those pop artists and print out a pamphlet outlining the Do's and Don'ts in Iraqi culture?

After all, the soldiers will be definitely staying longer than originally expected, and there is no way to stop the feeling of isolation by bringing bits and pieces of their culture to them. The American government might as well make the stay of their soldiers more palatable by giving them some pointers on how to fit in where they are; they are going to have to do it if they are expecting any cooperation from Iraqi citizens.

If the American government would only understand that it is nearly impossible to destroy Iraq's culture, beliefs and way of life, then working toward a democracy would be much easier. There would be a lot of Iraqi and American blood saved. Was that not the whole point of this war: to stop terrorism? Or was it the weapons of mass destruction? Or was it the connection with al-Qaeda? Maybe it was oil, or maybe... Well, I lost track of all the reasons for this war, as did most of the world.

Thank you, for nothing

So, Mr President, you said what? "There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?"?

Huh? Funny thing you decided to mention that now.

It took you how long to admit this? Too long.

This confession of a big lie that you and your government bestowed upon us, the people, and the rest of the world, came a little too late.

If you had told us this earlier, perhaps over 1, 500 American soldiers would still be alive.

Perhaps that many young Americans would not have had to give up their lives and defend their country for a false cause.

If you, Mr President, had told us this earlier, there would not be so many ash burned neighbourhoods in Iraq. Cities in Iraq would not reek of death from your bombs.

There would not be so many wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and children crying for their beloved ones.

There might have been a few that cried under the old regime, it is true. But you, you made that number multiply by so many; even count lost its place.

But you don't care. You didn't have to count the dead or collect their bodies, or even search through the rubble for someone that you might love.

Maybe, if you had remembered to mention that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction since I don't know, let's say 1991, when you found out that Iraq had no capability of producing such ugly weapons, the world would be a safer place.

But no, you decided to keep that little secret to yourself.

You decided to sit back and watch as Iraq tumbles and the souls of the dead rise. You sat back and watched as your own people gave up their lives, for a country whose reputation you have tainted.

So, thank you. Thank you for being so considerate. Thank you for the partial truth you have given us, and for all the pain and ache you caused Iraqis all around the world. Not to mention the pain and the efforts of the nations around the world that tried to help us, but which you shut down and ignored over and over again.

Please, don't take this personally but, in all honesty, if you are asking us "Isn't the world a safer place without Saddam?" think again, because you have got the wrong person, Mr President.

The world would be safer without you too, and the likes of you.